Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
