Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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