Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Operation Purity has been aborted
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
