every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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