I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
