Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
