I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
