So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
