I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
