Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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