I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
