yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
