I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
