Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are we still banned from the library?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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