Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
