Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
