Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
