U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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