The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I love having hate sex.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
