I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
