Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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