All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
