i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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