All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
