i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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