I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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