It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
