are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
