speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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