I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
