i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
