She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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