omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
