I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's great music for shaving your balls
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
