Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
