So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
