if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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