somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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