dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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