Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My pussy is not your playground.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
