Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
