I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
