just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
