I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
