arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
