So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
