did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
