I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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