I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
