i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
