Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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