we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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