from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
