So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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