I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
