I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
