I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
