it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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