she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it hurts more in the daytime
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My dick has a subreddit
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
